We are all in love with a fantasy - Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kyrsten Dunst, Scarlett Johansson, the list goes on. We fall in love with the way they look, dress, and most importantly act. It begins with a wayward glance or a cute yet thoughtless graze. Except these are never really for us because it’s happening in the fiction of movies. Damn the writers for piece mealing together my perfect woman. I’ve already written about my love for a certain movie character so this is going to be about someone more tangible - Jenny Lewis. She’s the one woman that’s been there through all of the prized moments of my life.

My love for Jenny Lewis began way back in college. While listening to music in a friend’s dorm room Rilo Kiley’s “The Good that will Never Come Out” began to play. Perhaps it was serendipity or just itunes on shuffle but there was something in her voice. I was your typical troubled art student and the longing sounded familiar. I listened to both “Take offs and Landings” and “The Executions of All Things” religiously throughout my college career. My life at the time could be described as deep deep turmoil. Deep like a dramatic art student might consider one’s self as deep yet in reality not so deep.

As I allowed myself to slip more into despondency the subtle electronic emo tones of the Postal Service let me know that I wasn’t alone. Even someone like Ben Gibbard feels heart break. Could Ben have chosen a better fleeting sparrow to chase than my lady Jenny Lewis? Her voice sounding reasonable as she berates the forlorn Gibbard to snap out of it… there is plenty in life that is “better” than a girl.

It was around the time of the release of “More Adventurous” that my life began to pick up. I was steadily dating the girl whom I would imagine marrying later (but didn’t). “It’s a Hit” was a nudge in the right direction. My college years were winding down and once again, right on cue, Jenny Lewis came to the rescue. “Portions for Foxes” was like an angry maturation of her voice. The angsty passive aggressive sounds of records past had been replaced with a focused beam capable of cutting through the most bitter melancholy with the relentless anthem of “I am what I am!”.

In 2005 I graduated and though there wasn’t a new album released that year the sounds of Jenny Lewis were ghostly reminders of the last half decade. I spent the next year holed up in an apartment too scared to move on from this life that I had grown accustomed to. I didn’t listen to much of Rilo Kiley at the time… it was a Bright Eyes sort of mood.

In early 2006 I received a much needed kick in the ass. In a week’s span the decision was made, my car was packed, and I was crossing the bridge out of Savannah Georgia. My life on the east coast was over. As I headed ever further west I began rediscovering old friends - Death Cab, Rilo Kiley, Rocket Summer, and the Harry Potter novels on tape.

The thing about the midwest is that it’s vast. Roads appear to stretch on for eternity and beyond. You have the grand canyon, which is more than a deep scar in the earth, and the rock spires of Arizona. I’ll never forget the behemoth silhouettes framing the purple sky as the sun went down. “More Adventurous” added a much needed soundtrack. The twangy guitar like stars cresting the horizon one at a time. It doesn’t get more midwest sounding than that.

The next two years flew by in a breeze. I refrained from listening to Rilo Kiley or Jenny Lewis’ solo album because it reminded me of someone that I didn’t want to remember.

Things changed recently when I had the opportunity to see her perform along side of Ben Gibbard, Zooey Deschanel, Jonathan Rice, and Matthew Caws at the Manifest Hope Gallery (Photos). It’s hard to describe the feeling of being there and hearing that voice again. The one word that comes to mind is “striking”. Afterwards, I felt left with a large gouge in my heart. On the other hand, I realized that just because your best friend reminds you of someone else you can’t abandon them.

I’ve had one opportunity to meet Jenny face to face. It was back when she was touring with the Postal Service. It was after the show when they were packing things up that I went over and spoke with her. Our exchange was brief. I had a picture of it which I lost. In a lot of ways I’m glad that there wasn’t more than a “hello, I love your music”.

The thing about fantasy women is that they are just that, a fantasy. Anything more and they would be a reality. The kind that wears cotton underwear everyday because they know they don’t need to impress you any longer. To me Jenny Lewis is a pile of lyrics that I had always meant to write down on paper. We share a connection that runs much deeper than anything could in reality because in an offbeat kind of way we’ve been through a lot together.

The imaginary Jenny shares my passion for watching mountains grow. She enjoys long drives that take us to no where in particular. On the weekends she bakes me ziti and I tell her about the most baffling things that I had just learned on the internet. Did you know that polar bears cover their black noses with their left hands when they are stalking a meal? She always has something witty to counter my “did you know”.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you imaginary Jenny Lewis.