Anyone who tells you that they have the end all be all tools for success should be met with a swift smack to the face. Pills are not going to enlarge your penis, you can’t learn how to pick up women in ten easy steps, and eight minute abs are as elusive as Muppet hunting. Snake oil, as it’s generally called, is surprisingly more prevalent now than ever before.

I began thinking about this conversation while attending a conference this weekend. I sat in on a presentation and it made me take a long hard gaze back through all of the lectures I had ever attended. What I came to realize was attempting to divine usable gems out of a twenty minute shlock is no easy task. It’s like reading the Cliff Notes and thinking that you now get Shakespeare. If you think that you can do this then you’re in fact being sold snake oil.

Some people go to conferences to network, others to learn how to be better at something. As I watched so many people attentively copying down the bullet points on screen as rapidly as possible I wondered what they were really learning. If you want to learn something don’t note what people are saying but instead notice what they aren’t. This is a general rule because generally presenters aren’t good at explaining what they want to say. The off center joke that wakes the crowd for example is a do. The way that the presenter places five hundred words on a slide may be considered a don’t.

If you want to have meaningful notes from any presentation don’t write down verbatim what is being said. Instead, write down the things that the lecture makes you think about. If someone is talking about all of the uses of Polypeptide Nucleic Cohesion (I made that up) and it makes you think about kittens and puppies, write that down. I bet you’ll find much meatier take-aways by considering why that made you think one thing instead of sticking to every word Captain-Awesome-Up-on-Stage is saying.

Be skeptical. In college I was known as the arrogant bastard because I was always skeptical of my professors. As a teacher I begin each semester with the same speech, “Look if you think that I’m full of shit then call me on it so I can show you why I’m not full of shit.” If we’ve learned anything from the last eight years it’s that just because someone is standing in front of a lectern it doesn’t mean that they are an authority on anything. If you feel like someone is BSing you, then you’re probably being BS’d

In summation, anyone who claims to be an expert in a field is full of air. So don’t listen to anything that I just mentioned in the last five paragraphs. Have fun and stay healthy. If someone offers you Koolaid, Applesauce, or Snake oil go ahead and punch them in the face. If that person happens to be your parents (or me) then accept it graciously with a curtsy - respect your elders.

For all of you presenters out there think really hard about what you are trying to say. Then assemble your presentation and ask yourself if you are saying it. Remember to build rapport in the beginning of the show so that people listen to the rest. When in doubt read the following article on presentation skills. Buy my book.