Humans are immensely complex machines. It’s insane that we don’t come with an actual user manual. Then again with all of the education, so called self help gurus, and psychologist there’s an abundant support staff on hand to mend the injuries caused by trial and error. We stumble through life interpreting. We interpret the glances, [...]

This is a declaration. I want to declare that from this point on I will no longer look back. There’s been something that I’ve let keep me from enjoying life to its fullest and I need to let it go. In the spirit of the holidays I’m officially casting my past to the wind. I’ve [...]

Let us begin the week the proper way. With a bittersweet Japanese love story by Haruki Mirakami. The following piece is entitled On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Maybe it’ll drive you to take those opportunities that you once hesitated to [...]

Major field operations are being planned for the coming week. We are looking for approximately twenty field operatives that are able to meet in the Boulder Area at a designated time this coming Monday or Tuesday. If you can commit to this schedule, and possess the requisite mental and physical fortitude, then please email forward [...]

At approximately 8:32:02 last night activities were set in motion that will hence forth be referred to as Operation Swan. Stop. At this time I have given the executive green light to assemble and utilize resources to insure the success of our end goals. Stop. Teams are being mobilized globally, we shall prevail. Stop. We [...]

Me five years ago is very different than me now. It’s interesting and often baffling to think that so much can change in half a decade. If you met me five years ago on the street you’d think, “god who is this punk?” You would be more than correct in your assessment. I was a [...]

What are you doing with your life? This is the question I ask myself every single morning. I’ll put on some music, turn my speakers up extra loud, and jump in the shower. The entire time my focus is on this one baffling question - what are you doing with your life? It’s both a [...]

Today I made a complete ass out of myself. Note, I commiserate with you, my esteemed readership, because I love you. I’ll be purposefully vague in my article but know that what I do, I do in the best interest of furthering the human race. Beyond the altruistic reasons I do it to entertain all [...]

I awoke this morning confused. Not only was I in a different place than I thought I was the night before but I didn’t know why I was awake. More on this later. I play these mini-games in my head, “If I have a text message on my phone, when I check it, then today [...]

There’s an internal debate making its rounds at NASA. Are we ready to send humans to Mars? It’s not just a question of technology but are we physically and mentally fit for the journey? Is it ethical to put a human in space knowing very well that they aren’t coming back?
I’d like to offer my [...]

In a dingy concrete laboratory, scientists at TG Advanced Studies claim to have made a discovery of perverse and baffling proportions. Doctor Michaels, the head researcher, describes the scene as so…
My peers and I were using the electron spectro-scan-o-meter™ to measure the frequency fields tangential to the giant squid. Essentially, we were looking to prove [...]